Well, it's that time of year again where just about everybody and their cousins come out with predictions for the coming New Year and since I'm no different, here is my list of predictions for 2013 and beyond:
Prediction #1. President Obama and a complicit Congress will continue to spend the people's money like drunken sailors on extended shore leave. There will be stimulus grants to certain businesses in specific politically-approved industries that will be used to give large bonuses to the top executives of these companies, who happen to be large donors to the Democrat Party, and then the unprofitable businesses will file for bankruptcy protection before the end of President Obama's second term leaving the American taxpayer on the hook for billions.
Due to this large expenditure and subsequent borrowing, the U.S. dollar will suffer more devaluation which will subsequently cause an unnecessary increase in the price of several commodities than many Americans consider necessary for their continued enjoyment of modern civilized life - like Pop Tarts and toilet paper. Since a majority of Americans will complain to our benevolent government officials about these high prices, our benevolent government officials will blame "greedy capitalists striving for more profit" as the cause for the increased cost of living and establish price controls for these necessities. These price ceilings, as price ceilings always inevitably do, will lead to shortages of the necessary commodities and everyone will be worse off than they were before they started whining.
The government will continue to lie about how bad the inflation rate actually is and provide smaller and smaller "cost-of-living" increases to those who live, or more correctly survive, on fixed government pensions, which might eventually become everyone. These unfortunates will fall farther and farther behind in the amount of funds they have available to buy the actual necessities of life and will find themselves just above the point of a basic survival caloric intake. This should take care of America's obesity problem.
Prediction #2. The war on guns and the Americans who own them will continue unabated into the New Year. President Obama and the fascists in Congress will get a ban on those dark and scary firearms they so much want to do away with, regardless of any fair assessment of actual crime statistics. But that will not be enough for a majority of Americans as this ban and new heavy-handed regulations do nothing to reduce violent crime. This majority will call for a list of all registered gun owners, and all gun owners will be expected to "register," to be posted on the Internet that includes the names and home addresses of all registrants so that the "decent" people of America can steer away from the neighborhoods these "social undesirables" infest.
A new crime wave of burglaries will fall upon these poor registrants as their homes are broken into and their firearms stolen from them. In this fashion the criminal element of America will ensure the transfer of the balance of firepower from the honest and law-abiding citizens to the dishonest and lawbreaking. Our benevolent government officials will respond to this rash of property crimes by making the former gunowner criminally and civilly liable for any crime that is committed by anyone using his stolen firearm. After this, many gunowners will give up on the "privilege" of owning a deadly weapon in our modern civilized society.
Prediction #3. Free speech advocates of the past, like Mark Twain and George Carlin, will set new RPM records as they spin in their graves at the news of new "verbal morality codes" being implemented at the Federal and National level. The usual list of obscenities, vulgarities, and profanities that Mr. Carlin introduced us all to will be included, but so will any word, term, or phrase that might insult, demean, belittle, leave open to ridicule, or otherwise "hurt the feelings" of certain sensitive peoples. Even words that just sound bad - like "niggardly" - will be included. The list will be continually expanded as "new racist code words used by white people" are uncovered. There will be the inevitable double-standard as some peoples are allowed to use some words the other peoples are absolutely prohibited from using, even in private conversation (there is no such thing as a "private conversation" in a public place anymore).
Prediction #4. The transformation of the American English language will barrel along without skipping a beat. All sorts of euphemisms will be implemented to replace older terms that have taken on a connotation of aggressive evil. "War" will now be called "a liberation movement facilitated by uniformed personnel." "Exorbitant and confiscatory taxes" will now be called "a mandatory investment in the future of the common good." An early and untimely death caused by a lack of medical attention under Obamacare will be called "an early release from life's responsibilities." Of course, the dead will be held responsible to still pay their fair share of taxes for years after they have ceased all normal bodily functions. And why not, they are still allowed to vote for the party in power - especially in Chicago.
Prediction #5. Many of the classics of literature that engage in introspective reflection and contemplation of the Human Condition will, by decree, be pulled from all libraries, public and school, and replaced by condensed and abridged versions of the originals. These pamphlets will consider less the body of the work and concentrate more on explaining the racist and irrational tendencies of the author and leave the reader with the impression that he shouldn't even begin to tackle the larger volume of the author's original writings. Those who are found reading such literature will be considered social misfits and sent to certain centers for psychological evaluation to see if they should be allowed to continue to share space and air with the "decent" people of America.
These are just a few ideas that popped into my head while I was lying in bed last night. If you can think of a few more that everyone should be warned of and prepared for, please add your thoughts in the comment section below.
Have a Merry Christmas and try to have a Happy New Year for yourself and your loved ones. Keep the rods in the fire and your powder dry...
Author's Addendum December 27, 2012
Some of my predictions are already coming true, in a sense. You would think these people would have had the decency to wait until after New Year's Day. Prophecy is not necessarily a gift as much as it is just an understanding of human nature. An earlier prediction of mine also seems to be coming to fruition.